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| Tips
- Speeches |
This is a simple guide to making your wedding
speech. It answers some of the most frequently
asked questions, and gives you some tips on
making it as easy as it can be.
HOW DO I STOP MY KNEES FROM SHAKING?
I won't tell you that you won't get nervous,
because the plain fact is, you probably will.
But you should know this: most people do.
In fact, if there's no adrenalin, it probably
won't be much of a speech. The important thing
is to keep it in perspective. Just use these
tips, and you'll find that there's nothing
to worry about.
For starters, remember that you're not taking
an exam, you're talking to your friends. Your
friends and family are the warmest audience
you'll ever have. They've come to your wedding,
and they're on your side. Think of it as a
bigger dinner party than usual - and it's
your turn to tell a story. Just relax and
remember how comfortable you would be back
at the dinner party - then go ahead and tell
your story.
Here's another tip. It's the waiting that's
more likely to make you nervous. Once you're
on your feet, and you've started talking,
as long as you know what you're going to say,
it's suddenly a whole lot more fun. So remind
yourself of that as you're sitting and waiting,
and make it easier by repeating your first
line to yourself. That way when you get to
your feet, and the room goes silent, you won't
suddenly freeze. Instead, you'll just say
that line you've been repeating to yourself
over and over. And with that out of the way,
you'll find the rest just follows.
WHAT ARE ALL THE RULES I NEED TO KNOW?
The usual routine is this:
A welcome by the master of ceremonies, who
introduces a friend of the family or close
friend of the couple, who makes a speech leading
up to a toast to the bride and groom, followed
by a speech in reply by the groom, or bride,
or both, who thank everyone who has helped
organize the wedding, usually ending with
a toast to the bridesmaids, who have toasts
made on their behalf by the best man who then
makes a toast to the hosts - who might or
might not be the bride's mother or father
or both, who reply.
But you don't have to do any of that. It's
all a question of saying the things that matter
to you, and having the people who matter to
you involved. Choose the people who you would
like to say something, decide who should be
recognised and thanked, and then work out
an order that suits you best.
It's always a good idea to have a master of
ceremonies, because they can keep it all in
order, and you really should have someone
to introduce all the speakers. But apart from
that, choose what seems right for you.
One of the ways you can make it particularly
interesting is to make some unconventional
toasts. For example, each speaker could choose
a year that they think is particularly appropriate
to toast. (For example "1976, because that
was the year that..."). By taking this approach,
you give people the chance to think about
things in an original way, and have more of
a chance of steering away from making speeches
that recite all the usual platitudes.
HOW SHOULD I PREPARE?
Write a speech to practice as soon as you
can. That'll give you more time to hear how
it sounds, and adjust it so it sounds like
your usual style of speaking rather than your
usual style of writing. And, more importantly,
it'll make you so familiar with the speech
that by the time you stand up, you'll know
just what you want to say.
Once you have it written, practice whenever
you can - in the car, in the shower. The more
you prepare, the more confident you'll be.
WHEN IS THE BEST TIME FOR SPEECHES?
You can have the speeches at any stage you
like, but generally, they tend do be most
successful before you eat, and after people
have had some time to mix and drink.
WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO KNOW?
Be yourself, and speak your mind. This is
a chance to say some things that mean a lot
to you about people you care about, in front
of all your friends and family. That's not
a chance people get very often, so make the
most of it. |
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